Real Or Not
by IfYouLoveSomeoneYouTellThem
Summary: Jackson wakes up in a hospital bed, after over a week. He's sore, confused and yelling for April to forgive him. April who is next to him waiting for him to wake up, is confused as to why he is apologizing to her.
1. Chapter 1

_So here is the first chapter of Real or Not._

 _I did use a bunch of spelling and grammar checkers to check this but if I've missed any I'm sorry._

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 ** _JACKSON_**

Fighting through the fog that is thick in my mind, I start to wake up. Fighting to get my eyes open. I become more aware of my whole body. It feels stiff, and it hurts all over. Every muscle aches. My arms and legs felt like they had lead in them. And my mouth was dry, my throat felt like it had been rubbed raw. My head is throbbing.

Moving my head slightly against my pillow, more pain radiates from the back of my head. God what happened to me, why am I'm in so much pain. What the hell happened to my life. How could I have done that?

More of the fog clears as I come closer to the surface becoming more alert. I become aware of a beeping sound, an IV is in my left hand. Taking a deep breath, the unmistakable smell of hospital fills my nose. I'm in a patient room at the hospital. Along with the smell of something that so familiar to me, smells like home it makes me feel safe.

Someone is holding my other hand, that's a hand that I know by heart. It's April's. I look down and my suspicions are confirmed, when I see a mass of red hair next to me.

She's asleep in a chair next to my bed, her head resting next to our joined hands.

April.

Everything hits me. Oh god, what have I done?

She needs to forgive me. She needs to know that wasn't me. That, I'd never behave like that. Something must be wrong with me. Using all the strength, I can muster I squeeze the hand that she is holding. She looks up surprised and relieved that I am awake. Even though it hurts like hell, I start to scream and beg for April to forgive me.

"April, April, please I'm sorry. Please, it wasn't me. I don't know what was wrong with me. I'm sorry please."

April jumps up, her hand other hand finds my cheek. Looking right into my eyes. She says to me in the voice she usually uses on Harriet, when she is scared or cranky. "Jackson, shh calm down." Her thumb drawing circles over our still joined hands.

"No, No, please. April, listen to me. I want you. I'm sorry I don't know what happened or why."

I need to make her understand.

No matter how much I want to stay awake to make her understand. I can't, I'm too soothed by her touch and words. I feel my eyelids start to droop and sleep starts to pull me back under.

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 _Okay I know that was super short and I'm sorry but I wanted to end in a certain way and I also haven't written anything in forever as well. Anyway let me know what you think._


	2. Chapter 2

_Here is the next chapter of Real or Not._

 _I did use a bunch of spelling and grammar checkers to check this but if I've missed any I'm sorry._

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 _ **APRIL**_

Shifting uncomfortably in the chair next to Jackson's bed, I try in vain to get comfortable. Even, though the chair was one of the good ones. That one of the nurses Hillary, who until she had transferred to this ward, had been one of my favorite trauma nurses to work with, had gotten for me. But even the most comfortable chair becomes uncomfortable and painful to be in after sitting in it for hours on end.

Jackson had been out for a while now. Amelia said he should wake up, but it had to be in his own time. Then we'd go from there.

I can't bear to leave him for more than a couple of hours at a time. So Catherine, Arizona, Owen, Ben, and Bailey had been helping me by looking after Harriet.

Catherine comes by every day, not only to see her son. But she also has been either getting Harriet from whoever, had her that night, picking her up from the hospital, daycare or just bringing her with her to me every day. So I can see her and pump and whatever else I may have to do.

She has also brought me food and clean clothes. She also sits with Jackson and Harriet, so I can go and take a nap in the on-call room or shower. Every day she tries to get me to go home, but she has only succeeded twice.

The first time was after everything had happened and I need to shower and had no clean clothes. But I was back within two hours.

The second was last night when I caved because I really wanted to shower at home, but again I was back within two hours.

While I loved and wanted to be with Harriet, I knew she was okay and that she wasn't alone with the people who were looking after her. Catherine also bought her by every day, so I was still seeing her.

I just couldn't stand the thought of Jackson waking up alone, I couldn't stand the thought of him waking up without me there. He'd do the same for me. I know he would.

My eyes start to burn the fatigue, and a yawn escapes me. Even though I've been doing nothing but sit here, it's exhausting, to sit all day. Being in the hospital all the time as a visitor. It takes it out of you in a way that I can't explain.

I desperately need to rest my burning eyes. Laying my head down next to where I'm holding Jackson's hand. Closing my eyes, I listen carefully to the steady beeping of Jackson's heart monitor.

I would have much prefered it be me listening to his heartbeat, with my head resting on his chest like not so long ago, but the sound of the heart monitor soothes and makes me sleepy in almost the same way.

That, combined with his warm hand in mine letting me know that he's still here and alive. Before I know it and without wanting it to, sleep overcomes me.

I have only been asleep for what feels like minutes but was probably an hour or more with how tired I was when I'm woken by Jackson squeezing my hand. I look up at him, surprised relieved and happy that he is awake.

Before I even get a chance to get any words out he starts screaming for me, at me.

"April, April, please I'm sorry. Please, it wasn't me. I don't know what was wrong with me. I'm sorry, please."

I jump up. My other hand finds his cheek. Looking into his eyes. I use the most soothing voice I can. It's the one I usually use it to calm and soothe Harriet.

"Jackson, shh calm down." Using my thumb to draw circles over our still joined hands.

"No, No, please April, listen to me. I want you. I'm sorry I don't know what happened or why." He starts to panic. His heart monitor starts to pick up.

I'm not sure what he's on about or what he has to be sorry for.

"Shh… Calm down, you're okay. It was probably just a dream. I'm not sure what you're going on about, you haven't done anything wrong, Jackson, just the opposite. We can talk about it later though you need your rest. And I need you to calm down." I place my free hand on the side of his face drawing circles with my nails on his scruffy bearded cheek, the way he always liked. "Just close your eyes and go to sleep your okay. Sleep."

His eyes start to drop, and his breathing slows. He's almost out. I whisper. "I'll be back, I'm just going to tell the others that you're awake. I'll be right back." I stand there for another minute or so to be sure that he's asleep, placing a kiss on his forehead I then creep out of the room.

With plans to call Catherine, so she can come and see her son and bring our baby to see her father. While I have sat with Harriet in Jackson's room every day, she needed to see her daddy awake.

While Harriet didn't know what was going on with her daddy, but she knew that something was up.

That he wasn't talking or making funny faces at her, cuddling with her and all the tension and worry coming from all of us.

But she was just as happy as ever, to sit with him and me. It was like she knew something I that didn't, that he would wake up soon or something. Either way, she was going to be excited to see him awake again.

The times she is happiest are with Jackson. It warms my heart every time I see them together. She would quite often fall asleep in his arms with her head on his chest. Almost every time he held her and she wasn't in a mood, of course. She'd be completely content.

I knew just how she felt, the safest and most and loved I have ever felt is in Jackson's arms. Just for completely different reasons.

I also need to get Amelia paged to come and check on him when she's free. I also need to talk to her about how Jackson woke up screaming before she sees him.

The others around the hospital that had helped me and worried about him also needed to be told. But that will be easy how quickly stuff spreads around this hospital. As soon as I tell the nurse that he's awake and to page Amelia, it will be around the hospital within the hour and for once I'm glad about that.

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 _Let me know what you think of this chapter and whatever you are thinking about this story so far._


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